Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Today posting is not for the weak-hearted. Contents maybe too shakening for some.. Read it at your own risk..

today i met up with an ex colleague for lunch.. someone whom i got angry with and rejected all his lunch appointments ever since an incident. Haha, times pass so fast more than half a year since i last saw him..

Well, his last update was i just broke up with him.. So today i update him with what really happen between the two of us..

Ending he told me, in fact, a lot of pple, even you, told me before that its better for me to find someone older than me by a few years old.. which i always dun understand.. Why? he says older guy will be more financially stable since they are already working now.. He presume if i was to be with a guy of my same age, i would be working for a number of years before the guy started working. so when the guy is financially stable to get married, i will be "lao cok cok" liao.. Worse if that guy found another one, i will be wasting my youth.. And this is agar agar what everyone told me before.. I accepted it, cos it sounds logical.. I dun understand whether i am strange or what. but i think otherwise.. 1) he says older guy will be more financially stable since they are already working now.. Maybe I never had the lavish life of bf spending money on me whenever we are out or get me whatever i want so i dun see it as a need to get a working bf? or maybe i do not have a lot of financial commitments? 2) so when the guy is financially stable to get married, i will be "lao cok cok" liao.. Because i always never have the thought of getting married early so i am not really affected by getting married late.. Anyway i am not really positive about getting married.. 3) Worse if that guy found another one, i will be wasting my youth.. Ermm, if that happens, i think that guy is just a selfish jerk whom i dun wan to be with too.. And i think i can find someone better? (by then old already, dun know still can find anot) haha, or worse, i think i dun mind remaining single? Or be a mistress.. haha.. Seriously, i dun mind if i gonna be single for the rest of my life.. so no harm trying it.. wahaha..

Tell me, am i strange?

Flashbackto the time when i am with j. Simlilar scenario: A lot of pple were saying most gals will leave the guy when he got into NS. due to not enough time for gf plus no money.. And I believe friends' friends do encountered this before? That time my thinking was otherwise also.. I was thinking two years so difficult to wait meh? In fact, i dun use the word wait (i dun think i am so "wei da" to wait also but I think if nothing big crops up, i dun see the need to leave him.. If i listen to what other pple says, i would have choose to walk away during his NS.. But i did not, in fact not only me, all my gals frens around me also stayed with their NS bf til ORD. This is my thinking a few years back.

After my recent ended relationship, i did think and feel that will it be better if i had not wasted my time on him. Its true that i had been through the worse time with him. Before NS to after NS to working, and from an unstable job to a stable job. Like those story, he got to know a gal then. and his heart wonders away.. He decided to leave current gal and had fun with friends and be with new gal. If he gonna be so selfish then in the first place, why do i have to wait for him? Since people are so selfish, why do i have to be so good? So is it better to listen to most pple advices/follow what most pple do?

I am confused..


*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|8:47 PM|


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